In liberal circles, Florida has long been considered the offensively shaped state where we keep the alligators. A horrible state that counts the votes of eligible, living citizens in only one day.
So why are left-leaning journalists requesting to transfer to the sunshine state?
“Well, I need to move there because.. umm. Oh my heavens, I need to keep an eye on that Ron DeSantis character,” a columnist for the Chicagoan Tard explained. “The governor is running around, lowering taxes, opening trendy restaurants up, and letting people breathe fresh air. I just gotta get down there and monitor this catastrophe on a long-term basis. Can you imagine living there? No seriously, can you imagine it?”
As this story develops, many are accusing these journalists of only moving because their blue states are collapsing faster than Jerry Nadler’s suspenders.
“No! Not the case! I need to bring my family here because with Florida’s low crime rate and affordable housing, we can safely observe that monster from a roomy beachfront condo!” yelled another reporter.
Update: DeSantis has passed a bill requiring all media member transplants to hang a massive “Trump Won” flag from their porch.
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