The Facebook whistleblower, who is definitely real, has released over eight billion pages of documents that indict the company for letting conservatives run wild on their platform.
“When a Trump supporter posts that meme of him hitting Hillary in the back of the head with a golf ball, it can be left up for 10, maybe even 12 seconds,” she said before doing a loud, ugly cry that echoed throughout the Senate chambers. “I’m supposed to tell you guys, congress should pass legislation forcing us to kick all the conservatives off! I mean, that’s how I personally feel.”
The whistleblower also blew some absolutely blistering facts about owner, Mark Zuckerberg.
“We all felt he cared for our personal well-being too much,” she began. “He respected us too much. And he was too snappy of a dresser if you ask me.”
Just then Zuckerberg, who was oddly in attendance for the hearing, walked over and whispered something into the whistleblower’s ear.
“Oh yeah. I… guess I forgot something,” she said with a very uneasy tone. “Mark exudes such raw, animalistic sexuality that it’s very difficult to focus on our work.”
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