FORT MYERS, FL – Famous leftist and Biden super-fan Brian Krassenstein is claiming conservatives on Twitter have gone too far by noticing his super perverted and predatory tweets.
“This is total bull s***! I am getting torn apart by conservatives on Twitter who are claiming I’m ok with little kids seeing naked men—when in reality, all I wrote is that I’m 100% cool with nude men walking around children in Seattle!” an exasperated Krassenstein tweeted. “It’s like these people can’t read!”
Later, when the controversy became known as #NudistsWithKidsGate, an unaware Brian replied, “I want whatever’s behind this gate. Key needed??”
Even an emergency Twitter Spaces meeting was assembled to salvage Krassenstein’s reputation, but it seemed to have the opposite effect.
“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, guys. Stop. Everyone calm down for a second,” Twitter Spaces host Mario Nawfal pleaded, trying to rescue Krassenstein. “Brian just has… certain habits concerning clothes wearing around American youth. Just as you might like vanilla ice cream, Brian might like practicing voyeurism while eating chocolate ice cream. You see? So it’s mostly the same, guys.”
Update: Needing to cool down, a furious Krassenstein announced he was taking a break from Twitter to work on his screenplay, where he replaces Romeo and Juliet with Michael Jackson and Macaulay Culkin.
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