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New York Times Editor Resigns In Disgrace After Allowing Weather Section To Say It Might Be Cloudy On Friday

New York Times Editor Resigns In Disgrace After Allowing Weather Section To Say It Might Be Cloudy On Friday

New York Times editor, James Bennet has resigned after he oversaw the publication run a controversial weather forecast saying that it might be cloudy on Friday. 

“It was a physical threat,” one reader said before canceling his subscription.  “Times readers know exactly how the world should be.  Socialist and 72°.  News shouldn’t be allowed to challenge that.”

Bennet, who recently received an award for the piece: ‘Bon Appétot: Why Toddlers Should Be Food’, was informed that his Friday weather report was inappropriate and disgusting.  

The idea of a cloudy day triggered thousands of New Yorkers who stormed the Times’ building and began chanting, “what do we want? Sunny weather!  When do we want it?  Friday!”

Speaking on the NYT podcast, Bennet tried to keep his job by reminding readers of his Ivy League education and famously classy wit.  “Awe c’mon you bunch of jackoffs!  I run the paper good!  Ya [explicit] wipes!”  

His attempt failed and Bennet was forced to resign at gunpoint.  The paper has announced that whoever replaces him will absolutely never challenge a Times reader in any way.