WASHINGTON, DC — “That’ll teach ‘em,” Kevin McCarthy confidently whispered to his top donors Friday morning. His remark came after Republicans became so furious to learn that Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey lied to them under oath. As a punishment, McCarthy did ‘what came naturally,’ and the GOP gave Ukraine another $21 billion.
It was no different in the Senate.
“We were livid. I mean, literal steam was coming out of our ears. So we all started brainstorming,” Ted Cruz said. “We ultimately decided to teach Silicon Valley a lesson by emptying the rest of the American people’s money to Zelenskyy.”
“Keep it up, big tech, and we will continue to not audit anything either!” a red-faced Lindsey Graham screamed to Sean Hannity. “Does Jack Dorsey expect us to just bend over? No, I’m asking, should I bend over? If you’re watching Jack, have your people call my people.”
Update: Republicans are warning that if big tech CEOs keep up their lying and censorship, they will have no choice but to work with Democrats to pass another gun control bill.
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