NEW YORK, NY — Since firing Tucker Carlson, the great Fox News Channel has opted just to film the TV in their break room showing CNN.
The new programming came shortly after the network saw its prime-time audience plummet to a tier industry insiders call ‘pure donkey s***’ or ‘WNBA levels.’
After the first evening of FNC cameraman filming CNN, the cry of “We did it!” was loudly heard by the wife of James Murdock. “We’re finally airing premium, trustworthy programming!”
Seconds later, Sean Hannity, who learned he was being demoted to one of the animals on Gutfield’s Animals Are Great clips, pelted her in the back of the head with his football. Soon, pandemonium erupted in the building.
Eventually, Rupert Murdock calmed the staff by explaining how this new format has ushered in higher ratings than Tucker ever earned.
“You see here?” he said, pointing to a large graph, “Once we use the math we used to call Arizona for Joe Biden on election night, the numbers show we’re winning more eyeballs than ever before!”
Neil Cavuto, immediately convinced, stood up and explained how this new programming is brilliant because there aren’t many left-leaning new outlets for Americans to consume.
“Look out, CNN. There’s an exact same, slightly blurry version of yourself coming to town,” he hollered with joy.
But some prominent conservatives are questioning the channel’s new programming decision.
“I just turned on Fox, and I’m seeing a TV with CNN on—And Brian Kilmeade walk over to heat up a hot pocket!” Bill O’Reilly tweeted. “What is going on over there?! I think Fox’s viewers are starting to get exasperated –word of the day, with their choices, and if Brian keeps walking through the shot, I’m gonna have to write Killing Kilmeade!”
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