ATLANTA, GA—Following a recent CNN job fair, the network learned they made the colossal mistake of accidentally filling all twenty-two openings with Project Veritas spies again.
The Project Veritas moles entered the network on high alert and were ready to document any unethical practices. However, once the new hires saw how sloppy CNN was, many quickly let their guards down. Several of the moles would occasionally wear their official Project Veritas hoodies to work, and they even all asked for the same time-off to attend something called “Debrief with O’Keefe.”
CNN only learned they had been infiltrated by Project Veritas when they saw their breakroom conversation centered around ‘exterminating all the Christians’ was being broadcasted live on their own network.
“DAMN IT!” Brian Stelter yelled, looking at himself on TV. “REALLY, RANDY? You’re one of O’Keefe’s boys?! You’re not going to tell them about the petting zoo and Chris Wallace, are you? What we did is only legal in Chaz!”
UPDATE: In a surprising twist, CNN has asked the Project Veritas team to stay on as they’re the only people that did any actual work.
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