Known as ‘The Bagel Blur’ in the podcast world, Ben Shapiro once again left recording technicians dumbfounded as he spoke each word of his 489-page book The Media Is Acting Incorrigible Again & Frankly I’m Astonished, Folks in exactly 51.8 seconds.
“I’ve never heard anything like it. His words were coming out as fast as bullets” a tech said. “At one point he even began moving his head side-to-side like the way you’d shoot a machine gun.”
“Hey, hey fellas,” Shapiro said reaching for his wallet. “You folks charge $300 per hour and seeing as how I only used fifty-two seconds, that means I owe $4.33.”
Ben was technically correct, but the studio was annoyed that Jeremy Boreing had reserved two days of studio time. “Plus you burnt up our microphone again!” a technician yelled.
“Ya know what? That sounds like a you problem,” Shapiro said holding out cash. “Now, this is a five-dollar bill—which gives you a 14.7% tip. You plug that surplus into Birch Gold and bang! You’re looking at some real profit in seventy years.”
Update: Because Ben is a good guy, he went back into the studio and recorded two full days of his John Kerry impression.