Thousands of former Obama officials began uncontrollably pooping their pants moments after the DOJ got their hands on more FBI documents.
It is believed that Barr’s DOJ has found evidence linking the “deep state” to criminal acts and members of the swamp may actually be prosecuted.
When first called upon, FEMA began filling their trucks with blankets and water bottles. But as the calls for help poured in, they were told not to bring any of that stuff.
“No. D.C. needs underwear, LOTS OF THEM! Undies! Do you copy?!” a distressed Washington resident was heard yelling into the phone.
When Former Director of National Intelligence, James Clapper heard the news, he had himself an embarrassing mishap while in a Washington diner.
“Bro! Did you just [expletive] all over my floor?!” the restaurant owner angrily asked Clapper.
“Uhhhh. No. Well. Uhh, not wittingly,” Clapper said before scurrying away as he tied a sweater around his waist in shame.
As a courtesy from President Donald Trump; a special, white-glove delivery of a 12-pack XXXL Fruit of the Looms was rushed to former CIA head, John Brennan’s home.