‘This Is How I’m Going To Die,’ Capitol Officer Tearfully Says After Getting Tangled In Microphone Cord

‘This Is How I’m Going To Die,’ Capitol Officer Tearfully Says After Getting Tangled In Microphone Cord

While recalling the horrifying violence given to Ashli Babbitt during the January 6th events, a Capitol Hill police officer became tangled in his microphone cord and issued a chilling statement.

“This is how I’m going to die,” he said, looking hopelessly into House Democrat’s eyes.  “There’s… there’s nothing I can do.  As I grasp at this cord, I just know it will overwhelm me and take my life.”

His remarks caused Illinois congressman Adam Kinzinger to rise to his feet while fighting back a wave of emotion. 

“Goodbye, sweet king.  Give George Floyd one of those elaborate handshakes for me,” he said before giving a forceful salute.

At this time, Congressman Jim Jordan walked over and began untangling the officer.

“Wow.  You’re seriously a police officer?  You are, by far, the most helpless and dramatic person in Washington,” Jordan said.

“Umm, I don’t know about that, Jimmy-boy,” Liz Cheney said with a rocket launcher resting on her shoulder.  “Us career Washington politicians are famous for not being dramatic.  Now step aside–I’m going to war with that microphone cord!”

Update:  Parler was taken down again after a photo taken of Jim Jordan trying to untangle the witness was spun as him trying to strangle the officer.   
  


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