On Saturday, Michigan housewife, Janet McKarenson narrowly dodged gunfire on her way to tell a pollster that she feels President Trump’s tweeting is dangerous.
Democrat Governor, Gretchen Whitmer recently released all the criminals from prison on a special program she calls “Seventh Chance Sweetheart”. An initiative that assumes hardened murderers probably won’t kill for the eighth time.
As these terrifying murderers were making their way to Janet’s quiet suburb, so was a pollster.
After catching her breath, Janet insisted on providing her input. “I just heard actual bullets whizzing by my head, and you know what? I feel it’s finally time to put emotional issues aside. In these uncertain times, I feel like we should instead focus on the super-duper, extremely emotional issues. Like how Donald Trump is mean on Twitter!”
“Are you serious, Janet?!” her husband yelled from the porch. “We’ve been over this. Did a tweet almost just blow your head off?!”
“Oh, don’t mind him. His thinking is all foggy because he’s a white, cis-gendered male,” Janet told the pollster. “He has no clue as to what holds a society together. How could he? He won’t even watch The View!”
Always the pro, the pollster put Janet down as fifteen Biden supporters.