In their first of many attempts to thwart President Trump’s Supreme Court pick, Democrats slapped a COVID warning sign on the vacant chair.
“Danger! COVID is real and it will kill every last member of this court if social distancing rules are not followed. Under no circumstance should this seat be filled!” Screamed a frantic Nancy Pelosi. “Unless Republicans were to somehow select Lena Dunham. If that happens, then we should be fine. But we would need a bigger chair.”
When President Trump heard about the stunt, he took to Twitter.
“Nice try, crazy Nancy. Not only will I fill the seat, after the confirmation me and Kavanaugh are doing laser tag. FUN!”
Nancy was fuming from the Tweet until one of her aids entered the hall, bringing her the good news that a CNN poll now had Biden up 32 points.
“Ok slaves, you heard the poll!” Pelosi shrieked. “Bring in about forty or fifty more chairs. We’re gonna pack this court tighter than Jerry Nadler’s pants. We’ll cram so many bodies into this courtroom it’ll look like the lines to bail out Antifa after we hear they’ve been arrested!”
The aid nervously asked Nancy about the risk of COVID and potentially spreading the dangerous virus. The staffer was promptly fired, but not before a mask-less Pelosi spent twelve minutes laughing uncontrollably. “Sweet kid. Still thinks COVID’s real,” she said wiping away tears.