Who wants to tell him?
That was the question many of the janitorial staff asked each other as they cleaned the Kenosha Courthouse Friday night.
“I know I got this baby in the bag!” Binger’s claim echoed throughout the chamber. “And when Kyle inevitably files an appeal–I’ll be ready! Hello?”
After spending the night in the courthouse, Thomas Binger was discovered to have been an escapee from WSPHSR (Wisconsin State Psychiatric Hospital For The Severely Retarted).
Hospital personnel made the connection after Binger’s ungodly lack of legal acumen matched the description of the missing patient.
“We’ve seen this many times before,” a psychiatrist commented. “A patient jumps out the window during coloring time, a democrat DA sees them in the street and becomes extremely impressed. Then BAM!–the insane person is asked to represent the state in a highly publicized trial of the century.”
When the authorities came into the courthouse, Binger was caught off guard.
“Hey, Gents. You with CNN? You want some more of my legal expertise?” he asked with his classic cross-eyed look.
Update: Binger calmed down a great deal after security guards lied to him.
“Don’t worry, Tommy. The good guys screaming the N-word and vowing to kill everyone won the case! You did it!” they said patting his head.
[@DistefaD contributed to this article]
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