The FBI is leaving no stone unturned in their hunt for the vicious criminals who meandered inside the Capitol Building on January 6th. Fortunately for justice and the rule of law, the agency found a new batch of folks who they have not yet interviewed for clues; the BLM rioters.
“Of the 5,000 Trump voters who went near the Capitol that day, we have only been able to arrest 5,230 of them. So we were worried this would turn into a cold case,” said an FBI agent. “But that’s when we saw this helpful bunch of peaceful law abiders gathering around burning buildings holding up weapons and torches. It was another opportunity to hunt for dangerous conservatives.”
“Yeah, you’ve yelled ‘down with whitey’ and ‘destroy all the businesses’ several times. I’ve got that,” an FBI agent loudly shouted to a peaceful protestor over the roaring flames. “But do you know of any racist, suspicious Republicans in the area? We must uphold the rule of law for them, or we could have chaos in the streets!”
During their attempted interviews in downtown Minneapolis, a dozen FBI agents were sadly lost, making this one of the more peaceful protests to date.
Update: After the white liberal kids flattened and burnt down most of the inner-city, the FBI now fears their mission to stomp out white supremacists might be hindered.