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Facebook Will Now Make Sure You Are A ‘Huge Liberal’ Before Logging In

Facebook Will Now Make Sure You Are A ‘Huge Liberal’ Before Logging In

After years of trying to purge conservatives off of their platform, Facebook has decided to cut to the chase and simply ask all users to confirm that they’re a huge liberal upon logging in.  If you refuse to check the small circle next to the words: “Are you a huge liberal?” your access will be denied.

“This is simply a way for Facebook to control our platform and maybe some minds along the way,” Mark Zuckerberg said in a statement.  “We cannot please everyone and there will always be people who say we want to send armed troopers into conservatives homes to dispose of them.  But we stopped doing that.”

What happens if a conservative clicks the box to gain access, you ask?

“If we were to see someone post that GIF of Trump hitting Hillary with a golf ball, for example, that person would be in breach of contract and would face both real jail and, even worse, Facebook jail,” a Facebook jail guard explained.  

Since the login change, Facebook is a liberal utopia where Joe Biden has already won the presidency and has appointed Miley Cyrus to the Supreme Court.