Fictional President Joe Biden will waste no time paying back liberal billionaires and special interest groups who helped him steal the 2020 election. Over the weekend, a drive-through was installed on the south side of the White House, which will streamline the transactions.
Sadly for the American taxpayer, the innovative process is off to a fast start.
“Thank you for your role in stealing the 2020 election. Please pull forward to the next window,” A cheerful Mika Brzezinski said into her headset. “Oh, yes. Mr. Zuckerberg. You ordered an unfettered ability to discriminate against people who hurt your feelings and a double order of Section 230 protections, is that correct?”
As the drive-through helps bring about Biden’s trademark “America 85th” plan, it’s not without its problems. At least a dozen times a week, Michael Moore pulls in and asks for curly fries.
“Get outta here, Michael!” Mika usually screams while throwing one of her high heels at his car.
On Monday, the drive-through saw Dominion Voting Systems pull up with ten flatbed trucks.
“Ok, Sir,” Mika greeted the driver. “You guys had the international cabal that overthrew the will of the American people, with a side of corporate news cowardice, correct?”
“Yeah, and we wanted that without any curiosity from the DOJ or the FBI,” the Venezuelan driver said.
“Ok, great. We’ve definitely got that!” Mika replied. “It’s just, you guys have a massive order, so we’re going to need you to pull up to spot number one right up there.”