Industries everywhere are struggling during lockdowns, and the vicious thugs from your local Antifa chapter are no exception. That is why top Democrats have assured them they will, in fact, receive back pay for all canceled riots.
“It’s not just the small business owners who need our sympathy. It’s the thousands of Antifa members who are going without their DNC-issued paychecks,” Pelosi tearfully said in a statement. “These sweet kids are living at home with their parents, but they still need money for masks, spray paint, and weapons. And I will make sure they get their money—even if it means giving them the money intended for small business loans.”
“I know it’s only been a few weeks since I bashed a journalist over the head with a bike lock, but it feels like months,” An Antifa leader told The Glorious American. “The inability to express my political beliefs with raw violence is a horrible feeling. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone.”
Update: Some high-ranking Democrats are now worried Antifa’s stimulus check reserve could dry up. “They may need to prepare to get their money the old fashioned way,” Pelosi warned. “By throwing a brick through a local businesses’ window and looting the cash register.”
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