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Chris Cuomo: ‘Show Me The Law That Says Protesters Can’t Commit Assault’

Chris Cuomo: ‘Show Me The Law That Says Protesters Can’t Commit Assault’

School was in session Tuesday night as CNN’s Chris Cuomo informed his audience that there is no law prohibiting the protestors from committing assault.

“Way too many people are noticing the looting and the violence and the assaults.  And you know who’s whining about it the loudest?  The elderly business owners who are in the hospital recovering from those attacks.  It’s pathetic!” Cuomo angrily explained.  “But listen, all you smart guys out there, show me the law that says the protestors can’t commit assault?  I’ll wait.  The reason you can’t is because, guess what?  No such law even exists!”

Cuomo’s remarks were immediately challenged and the host addressed the firestorm after a commercial break. 

“Apparently everyone is a lawyer because you’re all freaking out about my statement!  So I’ll speak slowly,” Cuomo said in a condescending tone.  “The law might suggest not committing assault, but nowhere in the constitution does it say protestors can’t commit assault.”

At that time, Cuomo’s producer (who’s secretly a Project Veritas mole and loves to mess with the dimwitted host) threw him a curveball in his earpiece.

“Chris!  You idiot!  They actually did change the constitution to say that exact thing!  Don’t you remember?  December 2009, I think!”

Cuomo became so panicked and confused he demanded his brother be made available for a softball interview.