WASHINGTON, D.C — Former AG Bill Barr surprised everyone on Monday when he called an impromptu press conference to inform the nation that it has been ‘one million days’ since a Democrat broke a law.
“As our corporate media has been telling us, the incredible streak of lawfulness by the honorable Democrat party continues,” Barr said pointing to his handy poster board showing the proof. “As people like General Michael Flynn were trying to commit treason, the Democrats remained unyielding in their quest for legality. When Donald Trump was peeing on Russian hotel beds, our fellow Democrats kept their commitment to honesty and decency. And when guys like Brett Kavanaugh opened up six underground gang rape franchises in Maryland, it was the Peter Strokes’ of the world who said, ‘Nay. I will be a law follower.’”
“But what about Hunter Biden and all the Democrats who burnt down our major cities?” an OAN reporter asked.
“Check out the sign, Buster Brown!” Barr said pointing to the poster board. “And there are seventeen federal agencies who have verified this data.”
Update: Barr also said that the Democrats’ letter to him, which promised to hit him over the head with a lead pipe and imprison him should he ever investigate them, played no role in maintaining the million-day streak.
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