The practice of catch and release has been so effective for this administration, they’ve decided to implement it on reporters who yell questions at Joe Biden.
“We always remind the White House press that their job is to sit down, shut up and nod in awe at the things I tell them,” Jen Psaki said. “And sometimes, we allow them to ask Joe ice cream-related questions. But lately, they’ve been asking him things like ‘Do you know you’re the president?’ and ‘How many words do you still remember?’ So we were forced to use catch and release.”
The process has gone smoothly as staffers chase down the disobedient reporters with a butterfly net and then release them into the interior of Kansas.
Things became even more tense after a confused Biden concluded his prepared remarks with “And I can take questions if that’s what I’m supposed to do.” However, before anyone could speak, members of the White House turned a large firehose on the press forcing many of them to flip backwards in their chairs.
“You all have hundreds of questions, but Joe doesn’t have very many answers,” a frustrated Psaki snapped. “It’s not fair. Just the other day, someone asked him ‘how are you doing today?’ A completely unfair gotcha question. Joe has had nearly 20,000 days—how is he supposed to keep track of each one? That question nearly killed him.”
Update: Rattled by a hostile media, Joe Biden’s team has decided to push back his next press conference another two or three years.