It looks like the perpetrators of the Nashville bombing are in the clear after the FBI has decided to open one of their famous “investigations” on them. While the public was happy to hear the authorities have gotten involved, many understand that the FBI needs definitive proof that a Republican committed a crime for any hope of prosecution.
While promoting his new book, Cut Me Some Slack, I’m A Democrat! (Forwarded by James Comey), the Vegas shooter explained why the Nashville bombers are unlikely to get in any trouble.
“Relax, Nashville! This was a domestic terrorist attack—not something serious, like a garage door pull rope disguised as a noose. The heroes in the FBI are looking all over social media for pro-Trump posts and so far… nothing,” he said. “So I don’t see a crime here. This whole thing needs to be called what it is. A mostly peaceful bombing.”
Update: The Nashville attackers are now comfortable identifying themselves and appeared on Rachel Maddow’s show. “We may have lit the fuse in Tennessee, but it was Donald Trump who set off the explosives in our hearts,” they said as Maddow nodded her head. “Also, we wouldn’t have to do these bombings if the FBI had just done the responsible thing by forcefully removing Trump from office.”
Give Us Story Ideas
