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All Charges Dropped For January 6th Rioters On The Grounds It Was 'Four Or Five Days Ago'

All Charges Dropped For January 6th Rioters On The Grounds It Was 'Four Or Five Days Ago'

We all share the painful memory of DC Police waving Trump supporters into the Capitol building like a third-base coach on January 6th.  But Joe Biden, our wise leader, is reminding us of a statute that has exonerated the actions of each and every rowdy Trump supporter that day.

As much as liberals hate it, the fact remains: The events of January 6th happened four or five days ago.

“Dammit!” an Obama-appointed Judge yelled after the defendant’s lawyer brought up the little-known Biden-Law. “That’s true!  I was going to throw the book at them, but my hands are tied. You’re free to go. Don’t forget your MAGA hat and fur cloak.  Would you like that dry-cleaned, sir?  Bailiff!  Go ahead and get that dry-cleaned for him.  His crime was at least four or five days ago.” 

As hundreds of elderly women slowly walked out of jail, the media began to question Biden-Law. 

“Look at them.  Like a herd of O.J. Simpsons.  Walking free due to a fancy legal technicality,” a terrified Joe Scarborough whispered. “It’s only a matter of time until they’re once again ushered, single-file into a federal building and then shot in the neck by an officer.  Democracy is in huge trouble.”

Update:  Joe Biden is now recovering from a bacteria infection after finding an old Fig Newton on the street and yelling “4 or 5-day rule!” and quickly eating it before staff could slap it out of his hand.


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