We all share the painful memory of DC Police waving Trump supporters into the Capitol building like a third-base coach on January 6th. But Joe Biden, our wise leader, is reminding us of a statute that has exonerated the actions of each and every rowdy Trump supporter that day.
As much as liberals hate it, the fact remains: The events of January 6th happened four or five days ago.
“Dammit!” an Obama-appointed Judge yelled after the defendant’s lawyer brought up the little-known Biden-Law. “That’s true! I was going to throw the book at them, but my hands are tied. You’re free to go. Don’t forget your MAGA hat and fur cloak. Would you like that dry-cleaned, sir? Bailiff! Go ahead and get that dry-cleaned for him. His crime was at least four or five days ago.”
As hundreds of elderly women slowly walked out of jail, the media began to question Biden-Law.
“Look at them. Like a herd of O.J. Simpsons. Walking free due to a fancy legal technicality,” a terrified Joe Scarborough whispered. “It’s only a matter of time until they’re once again ushered, single-file into a federal building and then shot in the neck by an officer. Democracy is in huge trouble.”
Update: Joe Biden is now recovering from a bacteria infection after finding an old Fig Newton on the street and yelling “4 or 5-day rule!” and quickly eating it before staff could slap it out of his hand.
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