In a press release on Thursday, United Airlines announced they will now allow emotional support Komodo Dragons to accompany passengers.
This news comes days after the deadly lizard mauled several passengers on a San Francisco-to-Atlanta flight. “Yeah, that Komodo Dragon wasn’t an emotional support one,” said a PR spokesperson. “That shouldn’t have happened. We’re embarrassed. Moving forward, dragons of all sizes must have that little orange vest on,” he clarified.
While this announcement got plenty of attention, not all of it was positive. Debbie Lawrence, of El Paso, told The Glorious American she is now less likely to choose United for fear of having her “face ripped off” by the aggressive reptile.
“That’s just the hate filled rambling of an insensitive bigot,” a spokesman for United told us, when asked about Debbie’s comments.
As predicted, rival airlines are scrambling to match this announcement by United. Alaska Airlines will now allow any Polar Bear to fly free and South West is considering “feral cat Friday”.