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Portland Police Will Supervise Antifa Throwing Conservatives Into Wood Chipper

Portland Police Will Supervise Antifa Throwing Conservatives Into Wood Chipper

Portland’s local Antifa chapter has filed for a permit which allows them to toss conservatives into a large wood chipper, The Glorious American has learned.

In what Mayor, Ted Wheeler, called “a tricky grey area of free speech”, the display has been authorized to take place at Pioneer Square later this week.

“I have instructed our Police to keep their distance and allow this free speech to take place,” chief of police, Danielle Outlaw said.  “We understand this might have a negative effect on our environment, so we’ll be sure not to spray too much bloo—err.. free speech everywhere,” concluded the police chief.