Since so many nurses at New York’s St. Mary’s Hospital have been fired; all pregnancy care for biological men has been suspended.
“It was a controversial decision, but we simply didn’t have the staff to keep checking to see if Kendall was dilating,” an administrator admitted. “I finally made up my mind when some of the men kept purposely spilling their Sprite on the floor and telling us their water broke.”
So far, the pregnant men at St. Mary’s Hospital have been understanding about their lack of care.
“If I have to hold this baby in ten or twelve months, that’s just what I’ll do,” Kendall said. “But the idea a hospital could run so low on staff they can’t deliver men’s babies? Have you ever heard of something so ridiculous?”
The massive number of laid-off nurses is a phenomenon that has left hospital officials baffled.
“What’s going on? All we said is that you need to let big Pharma use your body to see if their stuff works or you’re fired,” The hospital administrator said in bewilderment. “We don’t know what the big deal is about taking the shot. They said growing hair on your palms would only last for a few years. No reason to quit. Think of the money you’ll save on gloves!”
Update: Kendall has informed hospital staff he is having twins, and he needs more Sprite.
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