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Nation Shocked To Learn Dana Perino’s House is a Disaster

Nation Shocked To Learn Dana Perino’s House is a Disaster

If you were one of the millions of Americans who assumed Dana Perino’s house was an immaculate palace of organized elegance, you were likely left in disbelief if you caught a glance of the Fox News host’s New York condo.

While working from home, Jasper seemed to knock over the green screen Perino was working in front of.  Suddenly, the world went from seeing a generic Manhattan background to a revolting pigsty.  The sight of dirty laundry, Slim Jim wrappers and Pat’s Blue Ribbon cans sent her co-hosts into shock.

“HOLY HELL!” Greg Gutfeld abruptly screamed falling backward in his chair.

“Dana!  Have you been kidnapped?!” a frightened Jesse Waters asked.

Dana, unaware the green screen had fallen over, became rattled.  “What?!  Bob Beckel’s back isn’t he?  I KNEW it!” she screamed.

“No,” Juan Williams told Perino.  “The reason why we’re all feeling ill is because, guess what?  Your house is a MESS!” he said with his classic Williams smile.

Seeing the filth Dana lives in has turned the news world has been turned upside down.  Many high-profile politicians have switch parties, dogs have refused to be affiliated with her, and even George W. Buch denounced Perino in a scathing statement. 

Update:  Because it was Jasper who knocked over the green screen and shattered Perino’s pristine image, he was immediately put down.