Fictional President Joe Biden will likely be unable to use his brain for the duration of his term as he recovers from a fight with a local Grizzly Bear, MSNBC reports.
X-rays show that Biden’s brain, albeit missing, was probably functioning at a very high level before the bear encounter. However, doctors are now recommending Kamala Harris take over all Presidential duties.
Biden is so shaken up from his bear fight he has completely blocked the memory from his mind as a type of coping method.
“I did… who? Waaaaaa?” Joe said when asked about the incident.
Top Democrats are confirming the bear attack has taken Biden’s mental acuity down a notch.
“Hey, Joe!” Nancy Pelosi yelled while throwing an empty soda can at the back of Biden’s head. “Quickly summarize Bowers v. Hardwick. Quick!”
“I…I don’t,” Joe stammered before Nancy threw up her hands and yelled, “Ya see? Basically, brain dead. He was sharp as a tack yesterday. That bear sure did a number on him.”
Grizzly attacks are quite common in Delaware but are only fatal when the victim has comorbidities or connections to Hillary Clinton.
Update: With such extensive brain damage, doctors are now saying Biden’s only job opportunities would be to join ‘The Squad’ or become a CNN host.
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