Media Experts are finally saying what we all know. Should a member of the media lob the perfect insult at the president, we will all be saved. It’s why they’ve been attempting this feat for nearly four years. If you’re like most, you may find this a bit curious. How could the media spend four years searching for the cure to a disease that’s only about three months old?
“Well, that’s because during the net neutrality catastrophe, the perfect insult happened to also be the cure,” MSNBC’s Chris Hayes explained. “Same with the Stormy Daniels scandal, Trump’s Russia Gate crisis and when he unleashed Brett Kavanaugh on us—all would have been remedied by the perfect insult,” Hayes whispered while doing a thousand-yard stare.
According to media experts, the perfect insult levied upon Donald Trump would include the following:
1. A zinger about his hand size.
2. A reference that he’s not worth 4.6 billion, but probably more like 3.8 billion.
3. A smirk as the media member says the insult (think Jake Tapper)
4. Would result in Trump openly weeping.
“That’s about it,” The Glorious American was told. “Those are the four elements that we’ve identified as his vulnerabilities. If someone ever makes the perfect insult cocktail using these, not only would Coronavirus vanish, everything would be solved. We would live in utopia.”