After a lot of good tries, Joe Biden was able to string together a banner week of going potty in the toilet all by himself, press secretary Jen Psaki announced.
“As you can see, our great President is having an unparalleled run of competency of going potty,” Psaki said, pointing to a colorful graph. “Send the troops into Syria and send the poops into the toilet, is what this administration always says. So it looks like all the meme-makers and on-line jokesters won’t be making fun of Joe this week. In fact, the way things are going, there won’t be any material for a while.”
Upon hearing the news, the press gasped in amazement. Many within the media worry Biden’s feat might even overshadow Obama’s legacy.
“Does the President’s remarkable streak of using a toilet risk alienating his liberal base?” Jim Acosta asked.
“We’re actually very seriously worried about that, Jim,” Psaki admitted. “Large sections of the Bay Area could see this as elitism.”
Update: To keep Americans up-to-date, CNN has updated their COVID death count graphic to reflect Biden’s potty chart progress.