Several sources have revealed the Ghost that haunts The White House has been diagnosed with Trump Derangement Syndrome. White House physician Dr. Edwin Baylor stopped briefly to provide comment to the press. “What I can say is… It’s not good,” said Dr. Baylor with a discouraged tone. “This Ghost has a rich tradition of haunting and terrifying the first family but there is reason to believe the tables have turned.”
While HIPAA laws prevent the Doctor from expanding further, The White House was accommodating with allowing The Glorious American a one-on-one interview with the Ghost.
“As tradition goes, I attempted to haunt President Trump a few weeks following his inauguration.” Began the Ghost. “Initially, I like to give the new president the sense he’s not alone despite him being completely isolated in his office. But the moment Trump sensed he wasn’t alone, he began telling me how many people were at his inauguration!” he yelled. “He’s just all over the place! I kept trying to whisper cryptic things that Andrew Johnson said and Trump would tell me to ‘move it along!’ What is that!”
According to the Ghost, his main tactic is to use the words of past presidents to haunt and they are typically 50 to 100 years old. But because Trump was so unfazed by these whispers, the Ghost found himself blowing through administrations at a rapid pace. “I knew I had lost it when, only 3 months in, I was already whispering Obama lines.” Said the Ghost who then began to weep, ending the interview.
The Glorious American has learned the White House doctor was finally called in after the Ghost whispered, “If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep it” and Trump promptly yelled, “Oh! That one was a real beaut!” which cause the Ghost to go clinically insane.
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