As we all know, the last thing the crew over at Drag Queen Story Hour wants is a controversy. So when everybody learned that Dr. Seuss was a raging racist, they felt obligated to protect the children from such inappropriate material.
“Perhaps when they get a little older they can hear about this content,” Alotta McFilth explained. “And frankly, this type of thing should be coming from their parents. We wouldn’t feel comfortable robbing their innocence with these books.”
The news was a devastating blow to the Dr. Seuss brand who quickly added “AND A BLACK ONE!” to the end of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. But the damage was done. The men and/or women from Drag Queen Story Hour had made their decision.
“Kids don’t want to hear absurd and ridiculous stuff anyway,” Giggles La Bang Bang added. “What kids want these days is to know how much we hate our fathers.”
Update: Should a drag queen see any Dr. Seuss literature at a library, they have been instructed to aggressively twerk towards the book, a well-known sign of hostility within the community.