Some unfortunate news for make-believe President Joe Biden surfaced on Sunday as the mostly dead man injured his ankle while trying to sniff dogs. Approximately twenty-two seconds after the incident, Kamala Harris screamed she found a special potion specifically for injured ankles.
“What can I say? I just find myself staring at Joe all-day searching for ways to…help him,” she whispered in an interview with a creepy, lifeless look in her eye.
The special ankle potion is a mysteriously green, glowing liquid with a hovering mist that spills over the glass beaker. Harris has kept the cure fastened to herself in a holster and has oddly tried to administer the potion to Biden over fifty times since being named VP.
“That’s because I’m pretty sure it also cures dementia—I MEAN HEADACHES!” Harris clarified.
Initially, Dr. Fauci said ice and rest was the best treatment for Joe’s injured ankle, but after Kamala proclaimed, “A President Harris would make sure Anthony Fauci was named ‘Lord of the Global Economy,’” the doctor changed his tune.
“Oh heavens, yes. The glowing green stuff is absolutely the ticket,” Fauci clarified. “I’ve been saying this for years, I think. Every American should be taking the green potion—especially conservatives who get fussy about shutting down my economy.”
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