CNN Furious At William Barr For flubbing All His Lines During Press Conference

This morning Attorney General William Barr gave his much anticipated press conference which outlined the findings within the Mueller report.

However, CNN was quick to express its frustration at Barr for totally forgetting all his lines. “We clearly gave Bill all the media-approved findings, and he botched everything,” said a fuming Jim Acosta. “We have been dutifully writing the script for the Mueller finale for two years! And he blew it!”

Acosta, CNN’s White House reporter, arrived for the press conference early to get a great spot right in front of Barr’s podium. This way, the attorney general could easily see his large cue cards. Acosta was described as incredibly deflated when Barr merely summarized the Mueller report and released it to the public.

CNN released an official statement admonishing Barr’s actions:

“CNN is deeply disappointed in William Barr’s despicable act of rejecting our carefully planned narrative of the Mueller report. Despite CNN taking the time to clearly provide his lines via cue cards, Barr recklessly strayed into areas that absolutely blindsided all CNN staff. Lastly, we hope the AG is happy he ruined the entire summer news programming we had laid out.”