In a recent survey of the nation’s children, rich folks not paying their fair share have leapfrogged monsters under the bed in their list of fears.
“I used to sit in bed and be afraid of the boogeyman,” said 7-year-old Emily Trent. “But now I’m scared of the 1% skirting payment for their fair share. The loopholes and write-offs?” she yelled in fear before clutching her mother in tears.
In response to the study, the Heritage Foundation has deployed thousands of employees to sit at the foot of children’s beds and explain away their concerns.
“Now, Emily, the Laffer Curve tells us you have nothing to fear,” the Heritage employee explained. “When Washington over-taxes, you actually bring in less revenue? And that means far less money for… INFRASTUCTURE!” he shouted causing Emily to shriek in fear.
Update: Trying to keep up with the changing phobias of America’s youth, Hollywood has updated their upcoming horror films to feature the following:
- Capital Pains
- The Taxman Cometh II
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