ATLANTA, GA — The six-piece chicken nugget meal is actually a hoax perpetrated by powerful men running the fast food industry Stacey Abrams claimed earlier this week.
The popular Georgia Democrat explained that a six-piece meal is an “elaborate distraction” from the more sensible forty-piece.
“No such thing. My question to the six-piece-truthers is, how have you not starved to death? Six? I inhale six nuggets without even noticing,” Abrams said, making a wafting motion towards her nose.
Twitter’s fact-checkers made a speedy and valiant attempt to validate the claim:
“While speaking to pansexual students of color, two-time Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams correctly said 6-piece nugget meals do not exist. This is true because we assume Abrams is the foremost expert on food. Plus, we’re pretty sure she’s a lesbian or something.”
Update: To further prove her point, Stacey Abrams went to an Atlanta-area voting station and pulled out two large suitcases normally reserved for extra ballots. She lumbered to a nearby McDonald’s and demanded they give her “the usual” (fill the luggage with nuggets). Then, she bravely held the cases above her head like John Cusack in Say Anything.
Give Us Story Ideas