ATLANTA, GA — The six-piece chicken nugget meal is actually a hoax perpetrated by powerful men running the fast food industry Stacey Abrams claimed earlier this week.
The popular Georgia Democrat explained that a six-piece meal is an “elaborate distraction” from the more sensible forty-piece.
“No such thing. My question to the six-piece-truthers is, how have you not starved to death? Six? I inhale six nuggets without even noticing,” Abrams said, making a wafting motion towards her nose.
Twitter’s fact-checkers made a speedy and valiant attempt to validate the claim:
“While speaking to pansexual students of color, two-time Georgia Governor Stacey Abrams correctly said 6-piece nugget meals do not exist. This is true because we assume Abrams is the foremost expert on food. Plus, we’re pretty sure she’s a lesbian or something.”
Update: To further prove her point, Stacey Abrams went to an Atlanta-area voting station and pulled out two large suitcases normally reserved for extra ballots. She lumbered to a nearby McDonald’s and demanded they give her “the usual” (fill the luggage with nuggets). Then, she bravely held the cases above her head like John Cusack in Say Anything.
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