A Great Try! Jill Biden Performs Surgery To Prove She’s A Doctor

A Great Try!  Jill Biden Performs Surgery To Prove She’s A Doctor

It looks like all the joking about Jill Biden not being a real doctor may have backfired on conservatives.  On Monday, CNN arranged for Jill Biden to perform the next appendectomy at Delaware’s St. Francis Hospital. 

“Excuse me, sir?  Joe Biden’s wife will be doing your surgery today to prove a point,” a cameraman said to the unsuspecting patient.

“Wait. What?  Biden’s wife’s a doctor?” he said, wincing in pain.

“Says the trusted bunch over at CNN, silly!” Jill said, approaching him with a scalpel.

“WHAT?  CNN is saying this?  Then NO WAY!” the man said, attempting to crawl out of the room.

The sexist man was quickly apprehended and, while on the operating table, yelled, “Leave me alone!” and, “Let me free!”

“Typical right-wing talking points,” Jill muttered as she ripped into the man with the blade.  “The loud screams and obscenities you hear are the drugs talking.  Which, in my experience, I find odd because I’ve not given him any drugs.”

Like nearly all appendectomies, the patient died almost immediately, CNN’s Chris Cuomo explained.  “So not only is Dr. Jill Biden, a real doctor, but a brilliant one.  She even got pretty close to the appendix a few times.”

“I knew what I was doing the whole time,” Dr. Biden said, covered in blood.  “But I found myself exploring his heart while I was in there.  I wanted to know why his heart was so small and dark.”

Update:  It has now been learned the patient died from COVID-19.