Behind the scenes, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema are being pressured to pass Joe Biden’s massive $3.5 trillion spending bill.
“Listen here, Jack. I understand you have reservations about the bill,” Biden said, putting his arm around Manchin. “But in case you forgot, my son died. So I get my way. Remember?”
Later that night, Joe Biden hid in the backseat of Kyrsten Sinema’s car, and once she was going 80mph on the freeway, popped up and yelled, “Oh, Beau! He wanted the $3.5 billion spending boondoggle so badly! He wanted inflation to spike to dangerous levels. You know how kids are.”
Sinema was startled by the screaming fictional President but also took issue with Biden grabbing and sniffing her hair. She kicked him to the curb in a rough part of DC.
Soon, Biden wandered to a McDonald’s, where he was informed that their McFlurry machine was broken.
“You won’t give me chocolate-chocolate chip ice cream? Oh, this reminds me of how my poor son died. He’s not even living anymore!” Biden said while sticking his head uncomfortably far inside the drive-through window. “His last words were, ‘Hailey, give ol’ Joseph two scoops of vanilla. Extra cold.”
Afraid and confused, Hailey pointed our President to the nasty crack addict in the nearby gutter. The strung-out naked man had a way of getting things with his connections.
Update: The crack head was Hunter, and the two men repeatedly spent the night leaving Don Junior voicemails asking for ice cream.
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