Before Friday, the Goodyear Tire Company had very little correspondence with Al-Qaeda. But once their anti-police, pro-BLM dress code slide became public, the horrible terrorist group simply had to get their hands on it.
“It looks like Goodyear hates America as much as we do,” Al-Qaeda’s HR manager said. “Our organization has new-hires too. Not nearly as much now that Trump’s around, but still. Their PowerPoint really mirrors our core values. Why reinvent the wheel, right? I mean, the wheel’s been around for what, at least eight or nine years now?”
Most people were not pleased with Goodyear’s dress code slide and the company’s stock fell 62% Friday afternoon. “What happened? The news said everyone loved Black Likes Matter!” the CEO screamed into the sky. “And who could have known that blue-collar, automotive-savvy, red-blooded Americans appreciated their law enforcement?”
As it usually is, the transferring of the large PowerPoint file was a pain.
“I tried sending it to your email, but I think the file is too big,” the Goodyear HR rep said on a poorly connected phone line. “Maybe we should use Dropbox. You guys do Dropbox? No! I said Dropbox! Not drop bombs! This is different.”
Update: Once Al-Qaeda got a look at the whole presentation, they called Goodyear back and asked if they had anything ‘a little less restrictive.’
Give Us Story Ideas
