WASHINGTON, DC — Since Donald Trump left the White House, it’s been a long-standing tradition for the President and his college-aged staffers to play hide-and-seek on Thursdays. Sadly for Joe Biden, he is usually found immediately as he always hides his frail body under a small area rug. But now, he’s using the same brilliant negotiation tactics he used on Vladimir Putin to gain an edge in the game.
“Alright, listen up, fat,” Biden yelled to his staff before beginning the game. “I’ve got this list of sixteen places I won’t be hiding, so don’t you dare be a wise guy and look in any of them!”
Surprisingly, the list actually worked, and White House staff followed directions like sheep.
“Let’s look for Joe in the dryer,” a staffer was heard saying.
“Are you an idiot? The list says he won’t be hiding there!” another aid replied.
Joe Biden remained hidden for over 36 hours, and senior White House officials became worried. For the eighth time this week, they had to call former President Donald Trump for help.
“Just check the places on the list, idiots!” Trump snapped.
Update: Biden was, in fact, in the dryer. Numerous steam cycles removed all his wrinkles, making him look indistinguishable from Kyrsten Sinema.
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