Despite Pressure From Far-Left, Donors, Joe Biden Continues To Be White

Despite Pressure From Far-Left, Donors, Joe Biden Continues To Be White

WASHINGTON, DC — Give the Democrats credit for this; they know what they want. And what they want is for Joe Biden to stop being a lame white guy. This is why many on the left were shocked to see the fictional President, again, show up to the White House as white as ever.

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“We specifically laid out the DNC requirements for Joe to continue in his role, and he seems to be deliberately disobeying,” Speaker Pelosi told Meet The Press. “In these times, we need a strong, non-white female not named Kamala Harris. Frankly, this says a lot about Joe’s inability to be a strong leader. Bad! Bad dog–I mean Joe! Sorry. Sometimes I just feel like smacking his head with a newspaper,” she concluded.

In the last few weeks, Joe Biden’s whiteness has become particularly blinding as he began running around Washington reminiscing about working with segregationists while calling minorities “boy!”

“He must be stopped. There is nothing worse than a stupid white man,” CNN’s Jim Acosta told his audience on Monday. “I mean, these types of people shouldn’t even have a platform.”

Update: Reports are the fictional President is distraught that so many of his friends and fellow Democrats are calling him a racist. The White House has canceled Joe’s one event this fall. 

“Ya know what?” Biden told a reporter. “I’m just going to go back to Delaware, relax, pop in my Blazing Saddles DVD, and recalibrate.”

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