WASHINGTON, DC — In a naked attempt to boost the ratings and save Joe Biden’s 2024 hopes, CNN has quickly agreed to add a second debate so the fictional President can finish the rest of the sentences he began.
“President Biden, when you said, ‘Under my administration, America…cocker spaniels will now be 100% in charge of…,’ what was the rest of that? In charge of what?” CNN’s Dana Bash asked Joe.
But when Biden slowly sat on the floor and began drooling, co-moderator Jake Tapper stepped in.
“Looks like we’ll have just to tune in next week, won’t we?” Tapper yelled. “But I speak for all Americans when I say, whatever Joe is trying to say about the cocker spaniels? It’s going to be brilliant.”
In the few sentences Biden did finish, he found himself in hot water. For example, when Dana Bash asked about the filibuster, Joe replied with, “Filibuster? I hardly know her.” And when asked about Tara Reade’s Sexual Assault Allegation against him, he said, “Tara Reade? Oh yeah, I [explicit] [explicit] [explicit] [explicit] her right in the [explicit]!”
UPDATE: The first 25 minutes of the second debate will be a live shot of Governor Gavin Newsom laughing hysterically.
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