Biden’s Popularity Sparks Millions To Decorate With Wooden ‘Sniff, Tax, Rub’ Signs

Biden’s Popularity Sparks Millions To Decorate With Wooden ‘Sniff, Tax, Rub’ Signs

Despite the objections of every husband in America, farmhouse-style ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ signs have spread into more homes than the deadly Coronavirus.  Oddly, since the signs became an OSHA-mandated fixture in each house, living, laughing, and loving have reached all-time lows.

But the timing couldn’t be better because the most popular President in American history has inspired a new triple-headed mantra. 

Reports are, ‘Sniff, Tax, Rub’ are the new wooden words being hung on millions of walls.

“We hope to buy these new words immediately,” a local housewife told the Glorious American.  “Not only are they going to look super cute, but they’re a great reminder from a great leader.  We would have bought them this weekend, but Bed Bath & Beyond is seven miles across town, and we’re saving up for gas.”

Because the media told retailers there would be ‘historic demand’ for the decorative words, over $2.3 billion worth of inventory was purchased.

“We’ve mortgaged our entire company on this,” Home Goods CEO said.  “Just look at the amounts of votes he got.  Nearly all Americans want reminders to sniff, tax and rub.  We expect to sell out almost immediately.”

Unfortunately, in the first week, only three sets have been sold.

Update:  It turns out they were not ‘sold’ but instead stolen during a looting.  The wooden letters were used as kindling to burn down the Home Goods store.     

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