Now that the ridiculous Keystone XL Pipeline is out of the way, Biden’s $91 trillion energy initiative can begin. The plan will reach net-zero emissions by 2023 or else he will call it racist.
His administration has asked the pipeline workers for a compromise.
“I satisfy the environmentalist and they stop earning a living,” Biden explained. “C’mon man, that’s a fair deal.”
Thankfully, in Biden’s America these rough and tumble oil workers have great options. Specifically, they will be encouraged to blow into the windmills.
“It doesn’t pay much but they’ll be getting so much joy by helping the environment,” press secretary, Jen Psaki said. “And we’re pretty sure they didn’t like the lucrative money the oil industry gave them anyway. It was like receiving blood money, probably.”
Update: As reports swirl that some white supremacists are still using fossil fuels as a source of energy, twelve of Biden’s climate experts boarded separate private jets to investigate the accuracy of the rumors.
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