MEMPHIS, TN — The National Civil Rights Museum is proud to announce the latest addition to its collection: The chair that bravely fought to support Whoopi Goldberg’s humongous ass from early 2007 through February of 2007. The chair is from the set of The View, a daytime show made popular by unemployed, divorced women. After…
Category: Entertainment
To Combat Rumors Of Frailty, White House Enrolls Joe Biden In X-Games
DAYTONA BEACH, FL–When fictional president Joe Biden slowly rolled his bike to a complete stop, made his classic not-so-bright gaze, and then promptly fell over onto a group of reporters last year, White House officials knew they had a new problem. “We’re always yelling ‘lean left!’ at Joe, and that finally backfired,” a staffer said. “So we…
Bombshell: Hunter Biden Once Pitched Father’s Influence On Shark Tank
WASHINGTON-DC — The FBI has announced the Biden laptop contains a little-known episode of Shark Tank, which features Hunter pitching his father’s influence. In the footage, Hunter Biden approaches the sharks as the dramatic music plays. “Sharks, close your eyes and imagine this everyday scenario,” he instructed. “You’re on a seven-month, cocaine-fueled party yacht off…
Warner Bros. In Hot Water After Scooby-Doo Caught Saying ‘Rigger’ In Hot Mic
BURBANK, CA— After officially deciding to make Scooby-Doo character Velma a lesbian, Warner Bros. was widely celebrated by wide, unattractive, single women. But after audio of Scooby-Doo calling someone a “rigger” leaked, the praise quickly ended. “We are aware of the clip involving Mr. Doo, and it is our deepest and most sincere desire for…
Brian Stelter Says Taylor Swift Song 'Stupid Little Potato Man’ Is Not About Him
NASHVILLE, TN–Fans have long speculated that Taylor Swift’s hit song, “Stupid Little Potato Man,” is about former CNN personality Brian Stelter. Now the serious newsman is finally weighing in. “It’s not about me, you guys, so stop it. Taylor’s song is about, uuuhh, society. And sometimes artists view society as sort of like a stupid guy who…