El SEGUNDO, CA– If you’re a red-blooded American, you’re always worried about LeBron James’ well-being. You can’t stand to see him suffer. But that’s exactly what’s happening after the Lakers star forgot to stretch before virtue signaling earlier this week. “LeBron James will miss at least two weeks after an incident occurred during his daily…

FULTON COUNTY, GA — You’re not going to believe this, sports fans, but the Atlanta Falcons have discovered seven missing points from their 2017 Super Bowl game against the New England Patriots. The points came at 4:37 this morning, and the miracle points were discovered with 1 second remaining in overtime.  ESPN has called the…

LOS ANGELES, CA — Kyrie Irving has been saying some racist stuff lately, which is normally fine as long as it’s directed toward straight, white men.  But racist remarks from the NBA all-star were about the Jews— the people who deserve special protection or you’re fired.  Thankfully, Irving’s bestie and notable high school graduate, LeBron…

LOS ANGELES, CA— NBA arenas have seen a steady stream of fans holding large signs reading “FLJ,” and LeBron James wants the league to get to the bottom of it. “I’ve never seen these before, but now we’re seeing them at every game,” LeBron said following a 132-81 loss to the LA Clippers.  “The signs…

LOS ANGELES, CA– Some rough news for Laker fans as the team has announced LeBron James will miss the start of the season due to white supremacy.   “I just can’t play basketball in this racist climate.  No one can, and that’s a fact,” James yelled to all his teammates who were playing basketball. “White…