BROOKLYN, NY –In what can only be described as a brazen display of sexism, all 30 NBA teams exclusively selected men during this week’s NBA draft. The streak of male-only draftees reached a whopping 60 before the ESPN program came to a merciful end. “I’m shocked and bewildered,” said NBA Commissioner, Adam Silver. “The whole…

Phoenix, AZ – Well, this is awkward.  It seems ‘missing’ WNBA player Brittney Griner was not being held in a Russian jail cell.  Rather, she was playing center for the Phoenix Mercury all season.  Due to record-setting disinterest in WNBA basketball, no one realized this until Tuesday. Griner, who’s not that bright, unknowingly attended BG…

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Golden State Warriors’ coach, Steve Kerr, had himself a delightful evening, totally surrounded by heavily armed men who also guarded single points of entry on Thursday. “Ohhhhhhhhh, what safety I feel here!” Kerr said while stretching on the bench. “All millionaires should enjoy this environment if you ask me! Even when I go…

LOS ANGELES, CA— NBA arenas have seen a steady stream of fans holding large signs reading “FLJ,” and LeBron James wants the league to get to the bottom of it. “I’ve never seen these before, but now we’re seeing them at every game,” LeBron said following a 132-81 loss to the Orlando Magic.  “The signs…

MANHATTAN, NY—Despite their congress-like reputation of purity and professionalism, it seems scandal has broken out within the NFL offices.  And you’re going to want to sit down for this one. Email records show that from 1937 through 2019, high-ranking (and low ranking) NFL officials called a team “the Redskins” roughly 14.2 million times.  One particularly…