The NFL has an image problem and Commissioner, Roger Goodell has vowed to correct it. Shortly after announcing that Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre will be headlining this year’s Super Bowl halftime show, Goodell demanded no more than 182 N-words to be yelled during their performance. “I have spoken with Mr. Dogg and the good…
Category: Sports
To Avoid Controversy, Raiders Hire Hunter Biden As Head Coach
America is still healing from the unthinkable news that a football coach used naughty language ten years ago. So on Wednesday, the Las Vegas Raiders made a big step in restoring the public’s faith in humanity by hiring famed painter and long-time crackhead, Hunter Biden. “We chose Hunter because we needed to stop with the bad headlines. It was an…
LeBron James Out 2-3 Weeks Due To White Supremacy
Some rough news for Laker fans as the team has announced LeBron James will miss the next several weeks due to white supremacy. “I just can’t play basketball in this racist climate. No one can and that’s a fact,” James said as all his teammates played basketball. “White supremacists are running a full-court press…
Unvaccinated NBA Player Now Refuses To Talk To Any Reporter With A Higher Body Fat % Than Him
Orlando Magic forward, Jonathan Isaac has informed all NBA media members that they will need to have a body fat percentage of 2.9% or lower to speak with him. Since obesity is the number one factor in COVID deaths, Isaac feels their decision to be fat will put him and his family at risk. “I’ve made the…
‘F–k Joe Biden’ Chant Breaks Out At Biden Dinner Table
On Wednesday, the popular ‘F–k Joe Biden’ chant that has rocked college football stadiums around the nation, finally came to the President’s dinner table. Momentum for the explicit chant picked up steam when the dinner conversation drifted towards Joe Biden’s job approval. “Man, what haven’t you f–ked up, pops?!” Hunter yelled bouncing a biscuit off…