The DNC’s new format of playing basketball in between political speeches came to a conclusion Sunday night and many are calling it a success. Before they left the multi-month convention, the activists (dressed as athletes) gathered all the ESPN and TNT employees at center court. Everyone put their hands together as they did one last…
Category: Sports
LeBron Delivers On Equality As NBA Ratings Now Even With WNBA
Socialist sports fans everywhere are praising LeBron James’ triumphant efforts to finally bring equality in the ratings between the NBA and the WNBA. “Long overdue,” James said as he accepted the NBA’s Award for Social Solitude, or ASS. “The queens in the WNBA needed help. So I stood up. Well technically, I knelt down. But…
ESPN Launches ‘ESPN Sports,’ A Division Dedicated To Covering Sports
As ESPN celebrates its tenth year of being the go-to channel for consuming Democrat political talking points, network executives noticed a small opportunity opening up in a totally different niche. It seems that within the United States, there is a peculiar group of caveman-like men who are searching for something other than DNC propaganda. They…
As Ratings Slide, NFL Asks Tucker Carlson To Perform Super Bowl Half Time Show
After mistakenly thinking all football fans were torch-wielding Black Lives Matter looters, the NFL seems to be correcting course by having Tucker Carlson perform this year’s Super Bowl halftime show. The decision was made after the NFL saw a marquee game between the Rams and Cowboys lose in the ratings to Animal Planet’s House Cat vs.…
LeBron: ‘It’s Getting To The Point Where A Rapist Can’t Even Resist Arrest Anymore’
With the country in disarray, Americans continue to turn to famed basketball dribbler and notable high school graduate, LeBron James. Following an exhausting Lakers practice filled with gender pronoun drills and watching film (CNN), James issued a sobering reminder of how far this country has fallen under Donald Trump: “Ya know, it’s getting to the…
