In what can only be described as a brazen display of sexism, all 30 NBA teams exclusively selected men during this week’s NBA draft. The streak of male-only draftees reached a whopping 60 before the ESPN program came to a merciful end. “I’m shocked and bewildered,” said NBA Commissioner, Adam Silver. “The whole reason for…
Category: Sports
LeBron James Offers To Help Fox News With Their Ratings Problem
Star basketball dribbler and notable high school graduate, LeBron James, has graciously offered to help the Fox News Channel with its ratings problem. Just days ago, Fox News sat atop the cable news landscape. However, the network’s ratings fell sharply after their odd decision to cancel the 2020 Presidential Election and just scream, “Joe Biden…
Fox News Calls It. This Guy Wins Race After Taking Insurmountable One-Inch Lead
The crew over at the Fox News Decision Desk continues to impress as they immediately called a 100-meter sprinting race after one inch had been completed. It was a fourth of a second after the starter’s pistol fired when Bret Baier and Martha MacCallum sat up in their chairs as the Fox “alert” graphic made…
Georgia Officials Find 7 More Points To Give Falcons 1-point Lead Over Patriots in 2017 Super Bowl!
You’re not going to believe this, sports fans, but the Atlanta Falcons have discovered seven missing points from their 2017 Super Bowl game against the New England Patriots. The points came at 4:37 this morning, and the miracle points were discovered with 1 second remaining in overtime. ESPN has called the game for the Falcons.…
Democratic National Convention Comes To An End
The DNC’s new format of playing basketball in between political speeches came to a conclusion Sunday night and many are calling it a success. Before they left the multi-month convention, the activists (dressed as athletes) gathered all the ESPN and TNT employees at center court. Everyone put their hands together as they did one last…
