HOUSTON, TX — Trump University easily beat Crooked Hill College Saturday night and has advanced to play Dominion Tech in the NCAA tournament. “I told these players if they joined our great school, they’d eventually get tired of winning, and that’s exactly what’s happening,” President Donald Trump said following the game. Crooked Hill entered the…
Category: Sports
Kaepernick Suffers More Oppression As Private Jet Arrives With Cloth Interior
LOS ANGELES, CA — Colin Kaepernick just can’t catch a break. The esteemed civil rights leader was dealt another crippling blow this week when his private jet arrived with cloth interior. Cloth. Not Italian leather. Despite our country spending a century striving to eradicate racism, this latest injustice has the nation starting from square one.…
LeBron James To Miss 2-3 Weeks Due To White Supremacy
LOS ANGELES, CA– Some rough news for Laker fans as the team has announced LeBron James will miss 2 to 3 weeks due to white supremacy. “I just can’t play basketball in this racist climate. No one can, and that’s a fact,” James yelled to all his teammates who were playing basketball. “White supremacists…
LeBron Delivers On Equality As NBA Ratings Now Even With WNBA
LOS ANGELES, CA — Socialist sports fans everywhere are praising LeBron James’ triumphant efforts to finally bring equality in the ratings between the NBA and the WNBA. “Long overdue,” James said as he accepted the NBA’s Award for Social Solitude, or ASS. “The queens in the WNBA needed help. So I stood up. Well technically,…
Wuhan Institute of Virology To Host NBA All-Star Game
WUHAN, CHINA—As long as you’re not a safety inspector, you are invited to attend the NBA’s 2023 All-Star game at the Wuhan Institute of Virology! To make room for the court, the lab demolished the little-used cancer research wing, and attendees will be required to show proof that all their diseases originated from inside the building. …