NEW YORK, NY — Many are starting to get the idea that The New York Times does not treat Donald Trump fairly after the newspaper accidentally forgot to fill in its front-page template. On Wednesday morning, the few dozen people who still subscribe to the Times received a headline reading: [think of the worst thing…
Category: Media & Tech
With Only One Unfulfilled Conspiracy Theory Left, All Eyes Turn To The Friggin’ Frogs
AUSTIN, TX — Now that even the wildest conspiracies have been proven 100% true, Americans everywhere have turned their attention to the last unfulfilled theory. Will all the friggin’ frogs all turn friggin’ gay? “Look, I know it’s crazy to say the coastal elites want to turn all the friggin’, frogs gay but it was…
Facebook’s New Free Speech Commitment Just Link To X
Menlo Park, CA– After stumbling across a video of President Donald Trump hitting a golf ball that eventually smacks Hillary Clinton in the back of the head, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg made the startling observation that the conservatives he hates so much are actually the coolest people in the world. Reportedly, Zuckerberg went into a…
Ratings Win: America Turns To CNN On Night Where Goal Is To Drop The Ball
NEW YORK–CNN’s New Year’s special titled “2024: That Oughta Do It!” was dedicated to the network’s amazing progress towards destroying the nation. And because CNN has become ground zero for people dropping the ball, they actually trounced all the other broadcasts in the ratings. In fact, the network had become so accustomed to only reaching a few…
Uh-Oh. CNN Viewership Drops So Low, Jeffrey Toobin Thinks He's All Alone In Studio
ATLANTA, GA— On Tuesday morning, a shaken-up CNN intern was seen writing a large zero on a sign that read “Days since Jeffrey Toobin accidentally masturbated to an unsuspecting audience.” Yes, it was a horribly graphic Monday night after Lubin’ Toobin (as he’s referred to in the industry) felt as if he was all alone…