White House Proudly Announces Women Make Up ‘Roughly Half’ Of Those Abandoned In Afghanistan

White House Proudly Announces Women Make Up ‘Roughly Half’ Of Those Abandoned In Afghanistan

Watching this administration get humiliated has made Republicans happier than General Mike Milley judging a transgender wet t-shirt contest.  The globe now sees the real Joe Biden the way America did just before the 2 am ballot dump.

But as Republicans were basking in the destruction of the Democrat party, the Biden White House somehow managed to get back on message in a big way.

“We have some excellent and inspiring news today,” Jen Psaki proudly said, approaching the podium.  “Under this presidency, we can report that roughly half of the people we’ve decided to abandon in Afghanistan are women!”

Before she could finish her sentence, the White House press corps exploded in cheers, and somehow balloons and confetti dropped from overhead.

“Gone are the days where only stupid men are left for dead by progressive administrations!” Psaki yelled, pointing to members of the press.  “From this day forward, little girls will no longer look up at their lesbian parents and ask, ‘why aren’t more birthing persons killed searching for more genders in the caves of Yemen?’”

Psaki’s remarks excited the media so much they demanded music be blasted to keep the celebration going.  Soon everyone was dancing to ‘It’s Raining Men’ by The Weather Girls.

“IS THIS SONG REALLY APPROPRIATE?” Fox’s Peter Doocy yelled to Psaki over the volume.  “YA KNOW, GIVEN RECENT EVENTS?”

“PFFFFF– THAT WAS FOUR OR FIVE DAYS AGO. RELAX!” She yelled back while doing the worm.


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