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Oprah Decries White Privilege After Learning About Some Money That’s Not Hers

Oprah Decries White Privilege After Learning About Some Money That’s Not Hers

CHICAGO, IL– For the last several years, Oprah Winfrey has been relativity quiet on the issue of white privilege.  That was until she learned there was money in circulation that wasn’t hers.

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On an episode of her new Apple TV series Worship The Oprah, Or Else, the billionaire explained that she’s always been leery of a world full of racists.  

“That’s why I decided to handle all the money,” Oprah said.  “There’s a racist lurking around every corner.  Just look at the openly racist things we see every day, like the nuclear family or math.  You think they should have access to money?  Not on my diamond-encrusted watch!”

Shortly after those remarks, a show intern approached Oprah and whispered something into her ear.

“Oh, no, honey child, you’re mistaken.  I have it all.  You’re fired, and you’re mistaken,” Oprah confidently said with a smile.

The now unemployed and irritated intern then yelled, “Whatever!  And you’re wrong, ya fat walrus.  Other people—and yes, white people have money, stupid!  Look it up!”

Oprah could tell by the uncomfortable tension in the studio that the intern was probably right, and her world was forever changed. 

“If that horrible person is right, and I don’t have all the money… I think I finally understand what all this white privilege is about,” she said, beginning to tear up.  “White privilege is real, and it’s coming fast.  It seemed like only seconds ago… I thought I had all the money.”

 Update:  The Biden campaign has announced Operation “Give It Back.”  An initiative that would give all the money back to Oprah should he be elected. 

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