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Joe Biden On Global Collapse: ‘Things Would Be Different If I Were In Charge’

Joe Biden On Global Collapse: ‘Things Would Be Different If I Were In Charge’

After accidentally waging a war on US citizens and using the military to comb the globe to search for more genders, the world has seemingly disintegrated in Joe Biden’s first term.

Meanwhile, lying in the ball pit of a McDonald’s near Camp David, Joe Biden lamented the global collapse. “Things would be different if I were in charge,” he whispered.

“My grasp on world events is as firm as my grip on a young child’s rear end with only four cameras watching. So why won’t they just put me in charge for once, Grimace?” He asked a drawing of a large purple monster.

On the helicopter back to Camp David Biden and staff could see thousands of Taliban members rushing into the interior of the United States.

So many angry, brainless savages haven’t been seen gathered in one spot since Obama’s 60th birthday bash and officials asked Biden what they should do.

“Issue an official statement on White House letterhead. It should read: ‘You punks are lucky I’m just a Senator,’” Biden confidently said.

Update: The Joint Chiefs of staff have quietly reached out to Ron DeSantis for direction.


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