The fictional president’s decision to leave thousands of Americans behind enemy lines has inspired many fumigation companies to now offer the ‘Biden Package.’
This special offer pays tribute to Joe Biden by tenting large apartment buildings and quickly spraying deadly pesticides inside before getting the occupants out.
“People don’t understand how much preparation it takes to knock on all those doors and alert the families,” said the owner of Delaware’s Bug ‘n Shrug. “With the Biden-Package, we just let ‘er rip with no plan at all! It’s awesome because when we’re done, we just leave all our expensive equipment at the site and go get an ice cream cone.”
The Biden-Package costs 2,000% more than traditional fumigations and all the bugs are carefully relocated to Tennessee at 2 am. Once there, they’ll be given free healthcare and college.
Update: Fumigation companies have also added the ‘Pelosi-Package”. This service will give one gallon of vodka to each termite, but they never go away.
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